Mi corazón - very ugly

I should stop listening to those country songs, they only make me feel sadder...But Johnny is here tonight with me saying "hey! get rhythm, when you feel the blues", tying to cheer me up, dancing around with his guitar, giving me a croocked smile. And I hear what he says, with his lovely deep voice. I tell him how I fell in that ring of fire once he fell... and it burns, burns, burns the ring of fire, isn't ?

He takes my hand and leads me to the dance floor. "It's all a dream, babe, ya know?" he whispers in my ear.I woke up. Is not a dream and I'm still sad.

For two days I been feeling worthless, in a way that is like people are ashamed of me, friends, loved ones, is always the same.

My heart is ugly and I'm the only one who can't see that.

Wake up, hon, don't keep on fooling yourself.

La tristeza y sketches

Hoy mi tristeza sigue ahí, drenándose en todos los lugares, en mis huesos, en mi corazón. Y la tristeza se vuelve enojo y el enojo en decepción.

Hoy es de esos días que no quiero saber nada, nada de nada, simplemente cerrar mis ojos y dormir hasta el día siguiente en espera de que sea mejor, y lo es, hasta que me topo con su precencia y todo vuelve de nuevo, y mi corazón se rompe otra vez y mis ganas de gritar surgen de lugares que creía muertos, como viejos fantasmas que atormentan mis sueños y deseos.

Hoy no quiero amar

Hoy no quiero sentir

Hoy sé por qué él no me menciona, por qué una vez más soy el secreto del alguien, y me pregunto si valgo la pena de ser mencionada, de que el otro se sienta bien con respecto a mí. Al parecer no.

Como yo, con esos sketches que no muestro

Y yo me convierto en uno de esos también

Borroso

Inacabado

No tengo tampoco por qué mencionarte más.

"Dando y dando, pajarito volando"

Some

Today I still feel idiotic and upset with myself, mainly, for being like this.

I'm still waiting for the same stupid things that won't come and my hands are full of my things.

Today I want them empty.

No dreams

No wonders

I finished the first entry on my new journal. I thought that would make me feel a bit better but didn't do the trick. I tried this material, an indian ink. I don't know if it's supposed to smell as horrid as it smells and I'm starting to get a headache - fantastic, the cherry on the freaking top -. Now I know I like regular ink more, also because is waterproof and the lines seem more solid. Sure I'll use that ink again, but next time, with the propper ventilation.

Speaking of ventilation...

My pc is freaking hot. Leon, the technician, told me that water boils at 100º degrees and my pc is at 95º degrees right now. I could heat my tea if I want to with no problems, except for the pc, of course. He could low the temperature at 86º degrees, which is still no good.

It was a weird umpleasant day. I could make a list of things that happened, but I'm too tired and I think I'm going to sleep now before I really get upset about, well, all.





... and I uploaded two images here and now there's only one !

That's it !

I'm going to sleep right now !

Journal entries

Yesterday I didn't do much and I just worked on the two last pages of my journal. Now is ready to be send. The whole journal thing is a long story, and I love my own long stories, but I still don't know if this one is one I'll talk about. Some day, perhaps. I'm not too happy with them but I have nothing left to say on this particular notebook.

I need to buy a new moleskine for another journal.


The heart is the original design for my tattoo, which I have to say, is one of my favourites.





My face !!! I'm so tired. I been so tired all this past days and taking photos like that is... fun, at times, but not today because my batteries died, all of them and this is the only " good " photo of 13 I took. If this is the good one imagine the others :/




I have absolutely no idea what I wanted to say with this page. Maybe one day I'll understand, or maybe is just utterly bullshit. Who knows, really.

Travels, inks and wonders

I been buying some inks - no, I haven't found the blue one - and I wanted to use all of them in one drawing. I say ALL and it sounds like if I have tons, but no, sadly, hehehe. I realized I bought too many red colours and they looks so much alike, buuuuuuut... today - well, in the morning - I'm going to spend my last money on more inks. I think I'll buy one green and one - guess - blue.

Drawing with dip pens are lost of fun, but I made a mess with the black ink and my fingers are covered with it, grrrrrrrrrr. I don't really care about it, is just that I try not to touch the drawing much so won't get dirty and it is, no matter how much I tried. I have to be extra careful then.

I been thinking latelly about the travel I can't have - I could if I have the money for it -, how makes me feel that. I think I waste too much time thinking about it and only makes me feel even sadder to wonder " if things were different, if I were in the right place, in the right moment what would happen ? ". But maybe I'm not even the right girl, so...

Anyway, this is me on my magic flying carpet. Nice, isn't ? ;P

Today a metallic thing fell on my head. It hurted so bad. Today I came to a moment when I couldn't feel things, only the ones inside and real pain seemed silly and small, like a low buzzing; still I feel things that makes me dream, makes me want to draw and write, and I write and draw. I wish I could draw all the stories, all the music, the way they flows in me.

*Tell me a story, starshine*

In My Bag

Today I finished my entry for Anna Denise moly . Her theme is what we carry around in our bags, well, mine is really small one, but big enough for my moly (journal). Is actually my sister's bag, but I don't plan to give it away ! And she doesn't cares so is nice, hehehe.

This is how all that stuff really looks like :

Silly me ! I forgot to draw my celphone ! But as I don't use it much (nobody calls me. Sigh *) I don't see it as something important as, for instance, my iPod. The think I like the most is my Jimmy, my little bag for money. When my sister gave it to me she said "look, I found the child you and Tim Burton had" :D

Today I also got a great news which is that I'm going to be featured for one week on one webpage where I upload things sometimes http://www.bluecanvas.com/ladyorlando/ I know, maybe is not much, or it is, still makes me feel happy because some people likes my works. Nice. Latelly I feel like if I fell into a void and getting this is really amazing :)

Cats, monsters and a little monster

Today was a really hot day and I found poor Marcel lying on the bathroom floor. Maybe he was pondering about jump into the bath tub, but who knows. I think I'll do it soon and with that I'll be inaugurating the thing, which I have never used in my whole life 'cause this is the first time I have one, yay !

Today I also made this little drawing. I wanted to draw the cat blue and I bought one blue ink but couldn't find it, I don't know where I puted it. I thought that while cleaning my room I'd find it but no. Now I don't know if I dreamed I bought it or I actually did, hmmmmm...

In the morning a ray of starshine came into my eyes. I'm still dazzled, still happy, still watching it over and over.



I also finished this for moly moly_x_46 . The exchange is about monsters. Again, my monsters aren't scary at all, but maybe they have some tricks I don't know about :)




And I found this photo of a little monster Yoda. Can you see my ferocious gaze ? grooooooaaaaaaarrrrrr :D

My grandmother said to me "oh, you were so cute ! what happened ? "